When I debuted in 2017, it had everything to do with being a brand new mom. My first son was a little over a year old at the time. I had never felt so connected and in love with my changing body, and funny enough I had never had the confidence to perform burlesque until after I went through having a baby in front of a room full of strangers. I had been a stage kitten for four years at that point, and the idea of debuting while still pregnant honestly filled me with dread. It wasn't until after the delivery that my confidence and internal strength of character sky-rocketed.
Now that I am five months pregnant with my second son and 8 years into my burlesque journey, I see things a little different. I have performed multiple times with this little one, but it's not always easy. There are moments of extreme anxiety. I am growing out of all my costumes. Pasties don't seem to want to stay on my body (even more than usual). I am often exhausted. I get upset when I can't perform the onstage "tricks" I used to, or when my body doesn't move to the music the way I want it to. Sometimes I can't put on my costumes without help.
But aside from those things, there is something happening within me that feels a little magical. I'm growing closer to the true essence of why I started performing in the first place -- to gain more intimacy in my own skin and learn all the ways I can use my creativity to express love for myself and my femme form. As my body changes, I love it more and I love it out loud, for the world to see. When I step onstage while pregnant, I don't tear myself down... I'm building myself up, moment by moment, confronting a world that often tells pregnant femmes that they must hide and hate themselves. Even as I push through feelings of self-doubt and inadequacy, I leave the stage transformed every single time. And I see the transformation in the audience's eyes as well -- I used to fear ridicule and judgment, but I haven't actually experienced it. Most of what I see is intense interest in my growing belly, astonishment that there is a life growing inside of me, and admiration and adoration from others who see themselves within me onstage.
It's been a beautiful journey so far, despite the lows! I am happy to have cultivated a tiny little community of other currently-pregnant performers: Lou Lou la Duchess de Riere in Canada, Pearls Daily in NYC, Santobella Spark in Richmond. There are other performers that I watch from afar, like Curvella in Australia. They all inspire me to keep going, even when I feel challenged.
I've also been doing something called "Pregnant Queen Inspo" on my Instagram Stories, where I post video and images of pregnant femmes performing burlesque, samba, singing, modeling, etc. etc. It really helps me to see the beauty not only in myself, but in every body that chooses to share this journey with the world and continue to create art.
Here are some other resources I've been reading and listening to while pregnant and performing burlesque. They've really helped me to understand that I'm not the first (nor the last!) to embark on this #pregnantperformer journey, and it's really well-supported! Check them out:
"Poison Ivory, The Pregnant Burlesque Performer Who Refused to Be Bumped Off Stage" (Bedford & Bowery Blog, 2019)
Danish burlesque school "Sweet Burlesque" offered Mamalesque classes for pregnant performers in 2019
"Burlesque with a Belly" by Ulrika Bacher (2012)
"This Pregnant Burlesque Dancer Is Shattering the Idea That Moms Can’t Be Sexy" (Cafe Mom, 2017)
"Burlesque and Pregnancy" by Mae de la Rue (2023)
"Postpartum Body Image and Burlesque" (Burlesque Moms Podcast, 2022)
"Moms Who Strip: Pregnant Women do Burlesque at Franky Bradley's" (Philly Mag, 2017)
"Should pregnant women and moms do burlesque?" (YahooLife, 2011)
I found this newspaper clip of Canadian women's theater UrbanCurvz showcasing pregnant burlesque -- sorry it's so blurry, but it's from a 2011 edition of the Calgary Herald:
Have you or someone you know ever performed while pregnant? I'd love to hear about it and highlight it on my social media, if possible!
Until next time,
Bebe Bardeaux xoxo
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